what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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