five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
