im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
