Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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