How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
