I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
