seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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