Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
