my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
