All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
