I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
