apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't turn off my feet"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
you never un-have a 4some
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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