i would punch a child for taco bell
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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