There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
