i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
