HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
