Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
