Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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