Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
