i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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