i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
