ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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