It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
