"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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