My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
