Tell her she can't have a vagina
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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