some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
