Don't you send me to vm
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
