he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
