Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
