Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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