the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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