508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
