I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
