i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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