I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
