how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
