I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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