you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
