I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
