home. puking in laundry basket.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
