I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
