Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
we should paint friendship bongs
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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