If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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