white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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