she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
