You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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