the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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