im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
