before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize