What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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