I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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