the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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