Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
