u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
false alarm, still single
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
