well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
