no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
