So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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