how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
