Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
